FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Who is DEATH PATCHES?
Your inevitable end, a best friend to your vest, jacket, hat or whatever the fuck you choose to ruin!
Always watching, always with you and rest assured we'll eventually meet.
RIP: Rest In Patches.
Born out of violent-frustration, beer and a "If it doesn't exist, make it" mentality.
Combining a love of darkness and all things stitchable, attachable and drinkable.
DEATH PATCHES is based in Australia. And all products are Australian made. "Oi oi oi!"
What is a patch?
Go away you don’t belong here, idiot.
But while you're here... DEATH PATCHES specialises in embroidered patches.
Embroidered patches are a more three-dimensional, dense and long-lasting than woven patches.
Woven patches are often cheapily made and aren't considered as long-lasting or traditional as embroidered.
What is a pin?
See what is a patch answer, stupid.
DEATH PATCHES lapel-pins are made from hard-enamel, giving them strength and weight.
The clips are made from copper with a rhodium plating, meaning they won't unclip or fall off.
They are also lead-free and nickel-free. All expense has been made to ensure they're strong.
How long will my order take to be shipped?
Orders are packed and shipped 3-5 days after received.
This is enough time for most hangovers to resolve and sanity to ensue.
How long will my order take to arrive?
Domestic orders (Australia) should arrive from 3-10 business days.
International shipments vary from 10 – 30 business days.
Sometimes internationals can take up to four weeks to arrive, so please be patient.
But if you have any troubles with when your order will arrive, shoot us an email.
Will you sign my tits?
Email tits to DEATH PATCHES to firstname.lastname@example.org
All will be considered... and like all things DEATH, inspected with a high attention to detail.
Can I pay with PAYPAL?
DEATH payments are run through Stripe, which is how we like to roll.
It's safe, secure and super-easy for everyone with minimal transaction fees.
But if you love PAYPAL, you can through our ETSY store www.etsy.com/au/shop/DeathPatches
How do I attach a patch?
All Death Patches come with iron-on backing.
The iron-on backing is not a substitute for hand-sewing patches... it's merely an aid. The backing allows you to attach (via heat) the patch and ensure it stays still while you break and bleed your fingers sewing it.
Iron the patch in position using a small towel or thin rag. Place hot (if cold, plug it in numb-skull) iron onto the patch through the rag. Pressing down firmly for approximately 30 seconds, but not much longer or you'll start a fucking fire and risk burning your stupid house down. Your housemates, family or squat-buddies will know it was you.
If you can't be bothered sewing the patch on yourself, ask a friend. Or take it to one of those laundrymat, dry-cleaner, tailor fucking magical clothes-wizards. Then send us a photo so DEATH PATCHES can flaunt you like a whore.
How do I return something?
If it's a sexually-transmitted disease. Please keep it. It's yours now.
But if it's a patch, send us an email and let us know what happened.
Who will my order be shipped with?
All orders are shipped through Australia Post.
They're the bravest mail-warriors the money can find. Invincible to all breeds of spiders, dogs and snakes the Australian environment has to offer. They also have calloused buttocks from years aboard Honda CT110's.
Can I collaborate with DEATH PATCHES?
If you're an artist, patch-brand, patch-maker or even just an all-round sick-cunt... get in touch.
We're still in our "honeymoon-period", but we're open to talking about it. Email: email@example.com
But what about the environment!?
Our orders are posted out with 100% recycled envelopes and our patches aren't tested on animals.
But that's about it. The rest of the environment is YOUR responsibility.
Do DEATH items come with a warranty?
The DEATH PATCHES guarantee is that our patches will last longer than you do.